Our Tragic Past
by Makena'lei
Summary: Bella left home 7 years ago when she found out she was pregnant. After a tragic twist of events, she returns home to find that tragedy had struck more then just her own life. Will she be able to move on, to find happiness? ExB All Human
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys, this is a new story I'm working on. I have about half of it already written, and the other half outlined. It should be about 12 chapters total. Tell me what you think! I love the new image app!**

**I am not Stephenie Meyer, I do not own Twilight.**

**Reviews are always welcomed! Good or Bad!**

**Makena'lei**

Home Sweet Home

"Dad?" She called into the empty looking house. A house she hadn't step foot in for over 7 years.

No response.

"Dad, you here?" She called louder.

Still nothing.

She went room to room on the first floor. Dishes in the sink, empty coffee mug on the table. Gun belt missing, shoe marks on mat, but no shoes. She sighed loudly. He must be at the station.

"Oh dad" She plopped down on the couch in the living room. The clicker was just inches away from her hand. She flicked on the news. A storm was brewing. Great.

After finding nothing to watch, she finally just quit. She threw the clicker back to the table, and heaved herself off of the couch. Grabbing the keys she had placed on the counter, she made her way back to her car.

It was still warm in the new Audi. She had bought it with her own money. Money she had made on her own.

She drove through the empty town streets, humming to the radio. It was some mindless song about a pay phone.

She reached her destination. Forks Police Station. It was a newer building in the center of the bustling tourist town she called home. Well, had called home. She spotted the familiar car parked in the lot. An old police car with a broken headlight.

She locked her doors, just in case, and walked up the familiar path to the glass door.

The bell rang loudly as she walked into the building. The smell of sweat and gun powder and disinfectant hit her senses as soon as the door shut.

"Why, I'll be, Isabella Swan?" A loud booming voice called. She grimaced and blushed. She could feel the traitorous heat spread across her porcelain cheeks.

"Emmett Cullen you better not have been arrested. I'm not bailing your sorry ass out again" She retorted. She took in the sight in front of her. Emmett Cullen was 19 the last time she saw him. He was a student at the UW, a star football player. He was over 6'5, and easily weighed 300 pounds, all muscle. Not much had changed. He still had the killer dimples and curly dark hair. His blue eyes sparkled with a childlike excitement. Before she could blink, she was being swung around, laughing and hugging him tight.

"Oh, Em, I missed you" She stated as he put her gently back on her feet.

"You too Bells, you too" He replied.

"What's with the screaming Emmett?" Came a voice to the left. A man, probably in his 50's, was standing in a starched police uniform, hands cross over his chest.

"Dad!" Bella said happily.

"Bella?" He questioned. "I thought you came in next week" He scratched his balding head and frowned.

"No dad, I told you three times, I was visiting this week" She rolled her eyes.

"Awh, I must've mixed the dates up" Charlie shuffled his feet. Bella sighed and walked over to him.

"How about a hug old man?" She joked. He gripped her tightly.

"It's good to see you again Bells. It's been too long" He whispered against her hair as he hugged her.

"You came a good week Bells, it's homecoming!" Emmett announced. It clicked in her head now.

"That's why you're hear too. I thought maybe you moved back" She stated.

"Nah, got me a good football career, don't you follow my life Bells? I follow yours" He told her with a grin.

"Not much to follow Emmett. You're only the top defensive lineman for the best team ever" She joked. "My career isn't nearly as exciting."

"Bells, your articles are amazing. I love reading them, trust me. Right Charlie?" Emmett nudged the old man.

"Sure thing. You got a way with words Bells" He replied.

"Dad, you never read the paper unless it's about sports" Charlie blushed red. Like father like daughter.

"Bells, why don't you and Emmett go catch up. I got to finish up some reports. I'll be home around 7" Charlie stated.

"Yeah Bells, let's go see mom and dad" Emmett suggested. "I stopped here first to speak with Charlie. Some new comer cop gave me a ticket for going 70 near the high school" He laughed.

"Emmett!" She scolded. "You Cullen's and your speeding" She shook her head. "I hope you got something out of it dad"

"I sure did. Mr. Football here is going to help the team because as of now, we're losing to the res. They breed them pretty big up there Bells"

"Dad, you have a week until the game. He can't do much" She protested. Emmett slapped his hand over her mouth.

"We're not losing to them again Bells. We haven't won since your grade graduated" She simply shook her head.

"Let's go Emmett"

"Leave your car here Bells, I'll drive"

"We can both drive Em, I have my license now" She joked. He pouted but let her drive anyways. "Meet at your house?" He nodded. He unlocked his shiny jeep. It was monster sized.

"That thing is gaudy!" She screamed. He smiled and shook his head.

"That thing" He gestured to her Audi "is dorky Bells" And with that he sped away.

Ten minutes later she pulled into the familiar circular drive of the Cullen's home. It was a restored mansion, with a creamy exterior and large victorian era windows. Esme had planted winter flowers around the property and repainted the porch swing black. It was white in her day. The tree house in the backyard was still visible and seemed to be in perfect shape.

"Carlisle has me come down every summer to fix it up" Emmett stated noticing her stare. She jumped, she hadn't seen him approach.

"I remember when I tripped down the ladder" She smiled at the thought.

"And Ally got so mad at you for breaking a tea cup in the process" Emmett finished.

"How is Ally?" She asked timidly. She had left her best friend on some pretty cruel terms.

"She's great. Lives in Los Angeles" He replied. "Let's go inside, I see mom poking through the curtains" He joked. They walked to the front door, and before they could even knock, it opened.

Standing in the door way was a beautiful woman. She was petite, with soft features. She was classcally beautiful, with gentle green eyes and waves of caramel colored hair. Her smile was huge.

"Oh my lord, look who decided to come home!" Her voice was filled with happiness. "Carlisle!" She called up the stairs. "The kids are here" She ushered them into the house.

"Hey mom!" Emmett stated with a rueful grin. Esme smacked his large bicep.

"Emmett McCarthy Cullen where are your manners? Come give your mama a hug" She was nearly half his size, and it was comical to see the way he bent to her will. He hugged her gently, but lifted her off the ground in doing so.

"Isabella Swan, I expect the same from you too young lady" She joked. Bella gave her a tight hug. She had missed Esme Cullen, who was more of a mother to her then her biological one.

"I missed your hugs Esme" She admitted.

"i missed her cooking more" Emmett stated.

"Son" Came the stern voice of Dr. Carlisle Cullen. He smiled at his eldest son. They shook hands warmly and man hugged. He then engulfed Bella in a hug as well.

"Bella, how have you been? No casts I see" He stated with a smile.

"I've outgrown most of that Carlisle" She stated proudly. She was quiet the klutz in her day.

"We read all of your articles Bella" Esme stated. She had gone to turn on the kettle in the kitchen. She came in with a platter of cookies. "I was expecting you, just a little later" She admitted. "Charlie told me you were coming home. We didn't know if you were really coming home this time though"

"I'm glad you remembered the date, he seems to have forgot" Bella joked. "I meant to come home sooner, I just got caught up in life I suppose" Bella told them lamely.

"Well, you're here now darling" Esme concluded. "And that is what matters"

"She's right dear, we don't blame you for running out of this small town the first second you could." Carlisle told her.

"You just could have said bye" Emmett grumbled.

"Emmett McCarthy Cullen!" Carlisle scolded.

"No, he's right Carlisle, I ran the first chance I got, and I regret it, trust me. I've missed you guys so much" Bella stated.

"Well, it's in the past now. The present however, includes chicken parmesan with angel hair pasta if you guys are hungry" That was Bella and Emmett's favorite dish. Esme sure knew how to turn a conversation around.

"Oh, thank you Esme" Bella gushed, thanking her for the subject change and the food.

"Not a problem dear" Esme replied with a gentle smile.

They heard a car door slam outside. Bella cocked an eyebrow and looked to Esme and Carlisle.

"Ally dear" Esme replied. Bella smiled then frowned. Alice was known to over react. She hadn't seen or spoken to her best friend in seven years. Would Ally hate her?

"Mom! Daddy!" Came a voice from the foyer. It was high pitched, like bells.

"Living Room!" Emmett screamed back.

"Emmy!" A blur of white and black ran into the room, tackling the wide receiver off of the love seat he was perched on.

"Ally" Emmett said in falsetto. Alice was barely 5 foot. She had spiky black hair and pale skin, despite her Los Angeles zip code.

"Bella?" Alice questioned, standing up from the floor.

"Hey Ally" Bella replied sheepishly. Alice threw herself at Bella next, nearly knocking her off of her seat as well.

"We will talk later" She whispered roughly in her ear. She then hugged her parents as well.

"Is Edward coming home?" Bella asked after Alice had settled in between her parents, and Esme had brought out the tea. The four of them exchanged a glance, but Bella missed it as she was too busy trying not to spill her tea and avoiding Alice's glares.

"He'll be here in three days" Alice replied shortly. "He lives in Seattle"

"Really?" Bella asked, shocked.

"He works as Seattle Pres" Carlisle responded. "Don't you live in Seattle too Bella?" He asked. She nodded.

"Me too!" Emmett interjected. "I'm surprised you never saw Ed with your frequent trips to the hospital Bells, which was what Carlisle was trying to imply, but was too polite to say it" He stated bluntly. Alice giggled into her palm. Carlisle grinned too. Even Esme was trying to fight her smile.

"Really guys, I haven't broken a bone in years. I think it was your presence Emmett, not me" She defended herself. His joke had helped to ease some of the tension between Alice and Bella.

"Alright, Emmett, do not respond to that. Be nice" Esme stated. "Carlisle, you better shower, you're shift starts in an hour. I'm going to make dinner. You three play nice" She warmed. Carlisle followed her out into the kitchen.

"It's been so long" Ally broke the silence after five minutes. Her voice had a curious lilt to it.

"7 years" Emmett replied evenly.

"I never knew you guys moved out of here" Bella responded. "Well, until I saw you on tv Emmett"

"It wasn't just you that wanted to get away Bella" Alice retorted.

"Ally, be nice. She's here now, isn't she?" Emmett tried.

"Seven years too late" Alice pouted.

"I'm going to play xbox. You two make up" And with that the two ex best friends sat staring at each other from across the couch.

"Let's go upstairs Bella" Alice suggested finally.

"You are not giving me a makeover Alice" Bella warned. Alice smiled, a small, abet genuine smile.

"I just want to talk, promise" Alice stated.

"Me too Ally" Bella replied softly.

They walked up to the second story, third door on the left. The walls were still pink and the bed was still covered in silky pillows and furry animals.

"Let's cut the shit Bella" Alice stated. Her eyes were sharp as could be as she scrutinized her friend. "You haven't ever come back for homecoming before. You never call, text, email, or anything. Charlie tells us your okay. We read your articles, but we never hear two words from you for over 7 years. You break my brothers heart. What gives Bells?"

Bella looked down at her shoes.

"Bella, I know you had sex with Edward after graduation. I know that two months later you left for the UW without saying goodbye. One day you were here, laughing over Dirty Dancing, and the next Charlie was calling us frantically, saying you packed all your things and left at 5 am"

Bella choose not to respond.

"Bella" Alice prodded her with her foot.

"Alice please" Bella spoke for the first time. Her voice was rough with emotion.

"Bella, you will always be my best friend. You will always be able to tell me anything, even if it has to do with my brother. I would pick you over him everyday" Alice replied. "Did he hurt you?" She asked, looking worried and confused. Bella gave a humorless laugh.

"Alice you know Edward would never hurt me" Bella replied. "You know I loved him with my whole heart."

"Oh Bella" Alice whispered sadly. Edward and Bella had gone out since freshman year. But Edward had always been a popular guy with the ladies, not that he ever acted on it.

"No, it wasn't like that" Bella quickly said. "He didn't cheat. Let me finish"

Alice nodded.

"We were friends, best of friends. You know that" Bella stated. Growing up, Alice and Edward, were best friends with Bella. The three of them were inseparable. "He was always so polite and gentle with me. He never pushed for sex. It was so damn frustrating" She blushed at her wanton speech.

"I knew it!, the prude" She whispered loudly. Bella gave her a look.

"Well, we lost it after graduation. We were both drunk, we both regretted it. It was like something was tearing us apart inside. He was mad that he had apparently taken advantage of me, he was ashamed of it. I regretted that I lost it too. It was a mistake Alice" Bella looked to her friend.

"So you left because of that?" Alice questioned. "That's a simple misunderstanding Bella!" Alice stated.

"Alice you don't understand, we had sex once, and I- I" She started crying then.

"Bella!" Alice was shocked. Bella never, ever cried. Alice hugged her friend tightly. "Bellla, ssh" She tried to comfort her as Bella had always comforted her.

Eventually Bella calmed down enough to stop Alice from getting Esme.

"Alice, I was pregnant"

**Cliffy! Sorry! Review for the next chapter!**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Alice sat with her mouth wide open.

"Alice?" Bella questioned in a small voice.

"Pregnant?" Alice whispered. Bella nodded.

"Keep talking Bella" Alice requested, running her hands through her short hair.

"I took a test that I got in Port Angeles a week before I left. I found out 6 days before I left. I tried to tell Edward, but he had just gotten his Chicago Med School fast track papers. He was talking about getting out of here, and how we'd make it work. How we would be smart, go to different schools, establish ourselves, then get married. A kid would have ruined that Ally" Bella told her.

"I remember that week. We all thought you were sad Edward was going to Chicago and not the UW". That was the week that Jessica and Mike got married" Alice responded.

Bella grimaced. Jessica Stanley got knocked up by Mike Newton, who refused to take responsibility and denied having sex with her. Jessica was crazy about him, and everyone knew that they had had sex after spring fling in April. They married, both forced by their parents, when she was 5 months pregnant.

"After the wedding, we were talking about whether or not Mike and Jess would make it together, if they could handle it. He laughed Ally. He said that they were stupid, that having a baby would ruin their lives, because they were too young and foolish." Bella replied.

"Bella, he wasn't thinking. He didn't know" Alice defended her brother.

"I know Ally, but between that and his fast track med program thing, I just, I couldn't ruin his life. And then, I just, I couldn't tell him" Bella said lamely. "I know it sounds terrible, but Ally, I was so lost. I contacted a clinic in Seattle to get an actual test. It was scheduled for the day after I left. I contacted the school, signed up for early move in, and left. The clinic confirmed I was 8 weeks pregnant. Sex once and I got pregnant" Bella whispered, shaking her head. "I kept doing normal student stuff, I didn't start showing until October, when I was about 20 weeks in" She told her. "I didn't come home on the long weekend. I didn't come home for Thanksgiving. I had no friends because I was pregnant. I turned 18, and made all my medical stuff private from Charlie. He never knew" She whispered.

"The baby Bella?" Alice asked finally, unable to curve her curiosity. Bella looked up at her with hollow, red eyes.

"I killed my baby Alice. I killed him" She sobbed. Alice was shocked. Again, Bella was sobbing into her pillows. Alice knew Bella could never kill a fly, let alone a child. She pulled Bella's head into her lap and stroked her brown curls. She let her cry herself out.

"Now Bella, I know whatever happened was not your fault. Tell me the truth" Alice stated as she rubbed soothing circles on her back.

"I can't Alice" She sobbed.

"You can Bella, it'll help, trust me"

"Alice, you don't understand" Bella pled.

"Bella, when did the baby die?" Alice asked, changing topics.

"January" Bella whispered. "January 9th"

"Bella, you conceived the baby late June. January 9th would be only" She counted in her head. "7 months along"

"I didn't want the baby Alice. He died because I didn't want him"

"Bella, was he born still born?" Alice asked. Bella shook her head. She pulled her wallet out of her back pocket. She passed a dog eared picture to Alice.

It was a picture of a chunky baby with large green eyes and a tuft of red hair. He was wearing red and white pajamas.

"Oh, my" Alice smiled. "He's beautiful Bella"

"He was beautiful, he's dead now Alice" Bella said harshly.

"He died January 9th, of what year Bella?" Alice asked.

"He was born March 15th, 2007 and died January 9th 2008" Bella said slowly. "He was only 10 months old"

"How old is he in this picture?" Alice asked.

"It was his 9 month birthday" Bella stated with a small smile.

"What was his name?" Alice was trying to get as much information out of Bella as possible.

"Anthony Charles Masen" Bella responded.

"Edward's middle name and last name" Alice whispered. All of the Cullen children were adopted. Edward was the first to be adopted, he was only a year old when his parents, Elizabeth and Edward Masen, were murdered in Seattle. Edward was spared and the Cullen's adopted him.

"I never stopped thinking about him Alice" Bella whispered. "Do you know where we were going when he died?" She asked. Alice shook her head.

"We were in Illinios" Bella responded quietly.

"Oh Bella" Alice whispered sadly.

"It was snowing. We were in a cab. He was strapped into his seat. The police told me it wasn't my fault" Bella said. "We were going to the Med School. I had spoken to Edward earlier. I told him I wanted to see him. He sounded happy to see me, I think" Bella stated.

"I remember that. You called during Christmas time. Edward thought it was a Christmas miracle." Alice said slowly. She smiled sadly.

"I remember sitting alone in the apartment, with all the lights out because I didn't have the money. Charlie had sent me cash for Christmas, so I bought Anthony the christmas jammies, new from the store. Most of his clothes were from the salvation army or goodwill. He looked so cute in them. I was so lonely, so sad. I had a epiphany, I think. I called him without thinking. I told him I wanted to see him. You guys were going to Panama for something during break, so Carlisle and Esme sent me plane tickets for after. Anthony flew free anyway, it wasn't a problem. I had it all planned out. Anthony looked just like Edward, there would be no doubt about his paternity"

"What happened Bella?" Alice asked softly. Bella was staring off into space, remembering a past life.

"We made it to the highway. The cabbie was in the middle lane. I was making faces at Anthony. The police say that the truck in front of us slid on black ice. It turned over. I don't remember any of this. I remember hearing the cabbie scream. I covered Anthony as the glass broke. I screamed. I blacked out. I woke up to flames. I couldn't find Anthony. I heard the rescue workers. I told them to find my baby, save him, not me." Bella squeezed her eyes tight to prevent the onslaught of memories.

"I'm so sorry Bella" Alice replied. She remembered Edward telling them about the 18 car pileup on the highway. How one drunk truck driver missing the ice caused 22 deaths. How because of that, his clinicals were swamped, and he had to cancel on Bella. If only he knew.

"I've learn to accept it Alice. I've learned that Anthony wasn't meant to stay with me, that he had a higher purpose in life. I struggle to accept that it wasn't my fault, that it was the drunk driver who killed my son and 21 others." Bella replied.

"You are so strong Isabella Marie Swan" Alice whispered and hugged her friend tight.

"Thanks for listening Alice, it feel good to finally tell someone"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

After Alice had re done Bella's makeup, they made their way down for dinner. Someday, the rest of the Cullen family would know about Anthony, but Edward had to know first Bella decided.

Dinner was quiet, but Esme just thought they were tired from traveling. After several serving of her favorite dish, Bella was almost back to being herself. It had taken her 5 years to cope with the death of her son, but she was healing, and moving on. She needed to spend time with her family to complete the healing process.

"Goodnight Bella dear, come again" Esme said as she hugged her surrogate daughter to her chest.

"Thank you Esme, I'll see you tomorrow I bet. Alice is taking me shopping" Bella replied. Esme laughed and shook her head.

"You girls" Bella finished her goodbyes to the rest of the family and made her way home. Alice laid awake all night, lost in thoughts over the nephew she never knew she had. Bella, on the other hand, slept soundly for the first time in years.

The next two days were filled with Alice and Bella becoming best friends again. They discussed everything, from boyfriends to friends, to jobs to horrible bosses. Bella learned that Alice was stylists in LA and had her own small boutique on Rodeo Drive.

"His name's Jasper" Alice was telling Bella about her boyfriend. "He's Emmett's age, straight out of Texas. He's just so damn perfect" She stated.

"He sounds great Alice" Bella replied. "Is he coming here for Thanksgiving?" She asked. Alice smiled and nodded.

"His sister is too." Alice responded. "That's another thing, Jasper grew up in foster care on a ranch in Texas. He's got all these scars from protecting his twin sister, Rosalie. She's shy, but once you know her, she's amazing. We're just, so alike, it's crazy" Alice sighed dreamily.

"Sounds like looooooove" Bella teased, drawing out the letters. Alice smiled.

"I do, I love him Bella" Alice replied. Bella just smiled in earnest at her friend.

"You deserve it Ally, trust me"

"You'll find someone Bells, don't worry" Alice picked up a pair of jeans off of the rack. "Oh, you're getting these" She threw them to Bella and kept walking. Bella smiled and followed her, for once thankful for her best friend.

They shopped a little bit more, and then sat down at a cafe to have some coffee and chat some more.

"Alice, how's Edward?" Bella asked. The whole Cullen family had danced around the subject of the other son for awhile now, and she was curious.

"He's fine Bella, it's just, not our place to tell you. He's had some pretty rough cards dealt to him recently, just like you had. I know he's going to need his best friend when he gets home" Alice stated. Bella sighed.

"You don't think he'll hate me too much, do you?" She asked. Alice sighed and ducked her head.

"I think he will at first Bells, it's only understandable" She replied. "But when you explain it, I think he's going to kick himself, saying that it's his fault.

"But it's no one's fault" Bella whispered.

"If he hadn't been accepted to Chicago, would you have told him?" Alice asked.

"I don't know Alice. He was accepted, that's the reality. I never told him, and our child is dead now" Bella sighed loudly. Life wasn't supposed to be this complicated for a 25 year old.

"You have no idea Bella" Alice replied so softly that Bella missed it.

.,.,.,..,.,.,.,.,.,..,.,.,.,…,.,.,.,,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.

Edward was due to arrive on Sunday. It was Saturday when they got the call.

Alice and Bella had been out shopping for groceries. They were munching on candy aisle snacks as they walked into the living room. Carlisle was sitting with Esme on the couch, watching the news. A storm was destroying a small community in Colorado. Emmett was sitting on the recliner, flipping through a sports illustrated magazine.

"We're back!" Alice called. Carlisle called them into the room.

"Did you remember the pecans?" Esme asked. Alice smiled and nodded.

"Thanks girls" She replied. "Emmett be a good boy and go put all the groceries away, will you?" She asked with a smile to her son.

"Yes mother" He joked.

"Better you put that strength of yours to use instead of moping around. You'll be able to play next season hun" Esme said gently. Emmett, Bella had learned, had pulled his ACL last championship. They had won the game because of him, but he had to sit out a whole season to recover from surgery.

"Sit down girls, I know I made you buy a lot of food" Esme patted the seat next to her.

"Thanksgiving wouldn't be the same without it" Bella replied. "Thank you for inviting me as well Esme" She stated.

"Oh, it's no problem Bella, I know that father of yours is set in his ways. Fishing is just part of the package huh?" Every thanksgiving since Bella was little, Charlie went fishing with Billy Black and Harry Clearwater from the indian reservation up the road. Bella would either spend it with Renee, or the Cullen's, depending on the year.

"And working" Bella replied. "I've barely seen him more then three hours this week. Those ranger issues are keeping him busy, along with the high school pranks in anticipation for the game"

"i remember when he brought Emmett home in cuffs. Alice, Edward, and you were behind your father and Emmett, red from laughing." Esme remembered fondly.

"We were devils Esme" Bella said with a laugh.

"That you were" Esme replied. The phone started ringing on the table near the stairs. Esme stared at it for a second, until a number popped up on the screen. She smiled and got up to answer it.

"Hi honey" She said instantly with a smile.

It was like watching a tide sweep away a sand castle, or a tornado pick up a tree. It was quick and devastating to watch. Within two seconds, Esme's smile was wiped from her face. Her skin paled to a dangerous looking white. Her knees gave out, and she fell to the floor.

"Mom!" Alice screamed at the same time Bella yelled for Carlisle and Emmett. Both men came barreling through the kitchen doors. Emmett picked Esme right off of the hardwood floor, while Carlisle instantly grabbed the phone.

"It's Edward" Esme choked as he placed it against his ear.

"Son?" Carlisle asked.

"Calm down, she's fine"

"It's okay, it's not your fault. What's wrong Edward?" He asked.

"Oh god"

"When?"

"How?"

"And the Denali's?" He asked. Carlisle's face was going through a myriad of emotions. It went from sad, to shocked, to angry, to loving.

"We'll see you soon son. Emmett, Ally and Bells are all here now. Jasper and his sister are coming on Wednesday. Don't worry, everything will be fine"

Carlisle hung up the phone with a sigh.

"Tanya's dead" He whispered to the family, and Bella. Alice and Emmett frowned, but Bella was confused.

"Tanya?" She questioned.

"Edward's wife" Esme whispered. Bella's mouth fell open in shock. Alice shook her head slowly.

"How is he?" She asked.

"He's coping. You know how they were" Carlisle responded. "We all knew she was sick for awhile now"

"Still, the poor dear" Esme whispered again.

"Emmett, we have to pick Edward up at SeaTac at five. Why don't we leave now and grab lunch on the way?" Carlisle suggested. Esme was slowly regaining her color. Carlisle made his way over to his wife.

"It'll be fine dear. He's going to be fine." He told her gently.

"I worry Carlisle" She whispered. He kissed her forehead.

"Don't, you''ll get wrinkles my love" He smiled and kissed Bella and Alice goodbye as well. The two men left without a word about the phone conversation.

"Well, I suppose you all want to know what happened in detail" Esme remarked. "But I don't quite know myself. Let Edward explain when he arrives" She stated. "Let's start with Ravioli, they were Edward's favorite, right Bella?" She smiled. Just like that, it was back to normal.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

It was surreal. Bella could tell that Esme and Alice were hiding something, but neither was quite sure of what it could be. Bella focused on making the ravioli, since it was her specialty. Esme made her homemade garlic bread, while Alice was tasked with making a simple caesar salad. Esme kicked her out of the prep area after dropped a whole thing of lettucce.

"She just can't cook, can she?" Esme joked. Bella laughed agreed. They heard the front door open and close, and then footsteps up the stairs. Carlisle and Emmett entered the kitchen.

"Edward went to put some stuff upstairs. He wants to wash up, it was a long trip" Carlisle explained. Esme nodded. She handed Carlisle the oven mitt and told him five minutes left on the timer. He nodded. She went up the back stairs, to check on Edward, Bella assumed.

"Smells amazing Bella" Emmett said, spearing a ravioli with a fork. Bella tried to stop him, but it was pointless.

"Tastes even better" Bella responded for him. He always did this to her when she cooked. He smiled and nodded.

"You remember" He said, touching his hand to his heart, pretending to be flattered.

Bella threw a napkin at him.

10 minutes later, the table was set. Carlisle was at the head of the table. Esme sat to his right, Alice to his left. Emmett at the opposite head, while Bella sat between Alice and Emmett. That left a place for Edward across from Bella and beside Esme.

"He'll be right down" Esme announced, taking her place next to Carlisle. Carlisle himself poured a glass of red wine for everyone.

"It smells delectable Bella. I wish I could make mushroom ravioli like you" Esme complimented. Bella blushed and looked down.

"Thank you Esme" She whispered. Edward's footsteps could be heard on the stairs. Everyone looked up. Esme and Carlisle smiled to him, and nodded. Emmett was already piling ravioli into his mouth. Alice grinned at him and rushed to hug him.

"Edward!" She cried, burying her face against his chest. "I'm so sorry. I missed you big brother"

"Thanks Ally. i missed you too little sister" Edward replied. Bella was shocked, his voice was still as velvety smooth as ever. He looked similar as well. He still had the prominent cheek bones, and sharp features. His eyes were an astounding emerald color, and his hair, still bronze as a penny, stuck out at all ends. His green eyes however, were surrounding by dark bruising and redness.

"Bella?" Edward called. She looked up at him and smiled slightly.

"Edward" She managed to actually say his name. The first time she had done so in nearly 5 years. He smiled gently at her. "I'm so sorry for your loss"

"It's great to see you again Bella, and thank you" He replied. He took the seat next to his mother. She passed him a plate, and started piling it up with ravioli. He thanked her, and dug in.

"Mhmm" He moaned out loud. Alice giggled, Emmett snorted, and his parents looked somewhat embarrassed. Edward himself turned a slight pink color. "Excuse me. I forgot how delicious Bella's mushroom ravioli were, and what a home cooked meal felt like" He murmured.

"It's, okay son" Carlisle managed to choke out before he too starting laughing. Bella herself was almost as mortified as Edward.

Dinner passed quietly. When it was finished, Esme and Carlisle volunteered to clean up the mess. Alice excused herself with the excuse of seeing to it that Edward's wardrobe was properly stocked, although she also mentioned calling Jasper.

"Well, seeing as I'm third wheeling, I think I'm going to go call my PT guy, tell him my doctor brother says I'm free to play" Emmett smirked.

"I never said that Em" Edward stated. "I just suggested that a full year was not needed"

"Whatever bro" And then it was just Bella and Edward.

AWKWARD.

Chapter 5

"I guess we have some catching up to do, and some explaining" Edward stated once Emmett left.

"Edward, you don't have too. I know this must be a tough time for you" Bella stated. To her surprise, he snorted in laughter.

"We really do need to chat Bella. I need to explain why I'm sitting here laughing over my wife's death" He stated plainly. She nodded dumbly.

"Do you want to go outside to the swing?" He asked.

"Sure" She replied.

"I'll grab the blankets, if you grab the hot chocolate" He whispered. She nodded and made her way into the kitchen. Esme and Carlisle were humming as they washed dishes together. It was cute to see how happy they truly were. She smiled at the sight of them.

"Hi Bella" Carlisle nodded to her. "Need something dear?" He asked.

"Hot chocolate" She responded. She grabbed the kettle and quickly filled it with enough cold water for two. Cold water was a trick Esme taught her, it took more energy to heat already warm water then cold water.

"You and Edward going to talk?" Esme asked with a smile. Bella nodded.

"I think you need it" Carlisle told her.

"Hear him out Bella, please" Esme pled. "He's been through some rough things recently"

"Alice implied that" Bella responded. She grabbed the two thermos from the same cabinet they had always lived in. Esme passed her the coco mix and some milk.

"Marshmallows?" She asked.

"Just for Edward" Bella responded while she poured a little splash of milk onto the dry coco mix. Esme smiled and nodded.

"Of course" She replied.

Five minutes later, Bella walked out the front door to the porch swing. It faced the small river that ran through the Cullen's property. Edward was tying the cushions to the bottom and back of the swing. He added two pillows to each end, and one in the middle. A white furry blanket was draped across the back, and a red wool one was folded beneath it.

"She still has the same blankets?" Bella questioned as she sat down, careful not to spill the hot liquid. Edward smiled and nodded. He joined her on the swing. First, he scooted closer to her, and threw the white blanket over them both. Next was the red blanket, which tucked in around them.

"So"

"So"

They said it at the same, causing them both to blush pink.

"Where do you live?" Edward asked quietly.

"Seattle" She replied.

"Me too" He stated. She smiled.

"Alice told me you're a doctor already, congrats"

"I read your articles in the paper" He admitted.

"Edward?" Bella questioned after five minutes of silence. He look at her in the eyes. He could she the questions, his wife, her death, so on.

"I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours" He responded evenly.

"Okay" She whispered. It was now or never anyways.

"I got married less then two years ago." He started off. "Her name was Tanya Denali, she was a med student from Alaska. I was her mentor, I guess. We met about, 2.5 years ago. I was a resident at the time. I had excelled in school, I was on the fast track. She was two years younger, just starting her residency. She was brilliant." He said. "I'm surprised you didn't the wedding picture in the foyer" He remarked.

"I never looked I guess" She replied.

"Anyways, we went out for about 7 months, and she got pregnant. You know how I was with sex Bella. She was wanton compared to you. At the time, I thought I was in love. I gave in, I slept with her. She found out 6 weeks into it. We got married 3 months later. I couldn't not marry her, I guess I felt obligated, I had ruined her career." He stopped and shook his head.

"Edward?" She urged him on.

"Well, we found it was twins about three weeks after the honeymoon." He sighed loudly. "She went crazy. " He took a minute to breathe. "She carried them to term, they were born February 26th 2011. It was a little girl and boy. She named her Irena Katherine Cullen, after her sister. She wanted to name him Elezar Aro Cullen after her father, but I couldn't let her. He was named Masen Carlisle Cullen, after my side."

"Those are pretty names" Bella murmured.

"She didn't want a son" He whispered. "She only took care of Irena. That was the first hint that something was wrong. I would come home from work, and he would be crying, dirty, and starving. I thought, maybe she was just overwhelmed, so I hired a nanny. I had to keep working to bring in money. The nanny eventually told me that Tanya refused to feed Masen, pick him up, or change him, but refused to let the nanny of anything to Irena."

"Oh Edward" Bella whispered. It was turning into a horror story much like her own.

"Irena was a mix of Tanya and I, big green eyes, tufts of blonde hair. Masen though, he's a mini me I goess. He had my eyes, my hair, everything. Not a trace of Tanya in him" Edward told her.

"What happened Edward?" Bella sensed something big was coming in the story, something she wouldn't like. She sipped her hot chocolate as he did the same. He looked up at her with sad green eyes.

"At four months, Irena, she died" He whispered. His voice sounded lost and confused. Bella found herself reaching out to grasp his hand. To her surprise, he didn't pull away. "It was a Saturday in June, the 23rd. I woke up to go to work. I went to check in on the babies, like I usually did. I would rock them both, and give them a bottle, so Tanya could sleep, and so that Masen would be good until 8 came and Mrs. Cope would care for him. He was waiting in his crib, tears rolling down his cheeks. It was like he knew Bella, like he could sense his sister wasn't there" The story was getting worse and worse. "I picked him up, tried to figure out what the cry meant. It wasn't his hungry or wet cry, it wasn't really a cry at all. So I looked down to see if Rena was awake. Her skin was too white. She was too still. I put Masen back in his crib. I picked up Rena. I screamed for Tanya, crying and begging her to call 911. I tried CPR, I tried everything. Tanya was a wreck, screaming that I had killed her baby. The EMTS arrived, took Tanya and Rena downtown. She was pronounced dead on arrival" He whispered.

"I am so sorry Edward" Bella tighten her grip on his hand.

"Thank you" He whispered. "It was no one's fault, they told us it was SIDS. Tanya never recovered though. She refused to even look at Masen, not that that was any different then usual. Mrs. Cope moved into the spare bedroom to look over Masen constantly, and Tanya was admitted into a program in Utah. She was getting better, or I wanted to believe she was. I let her visit Masen, she was his mother after all." He stopped and pinched the bridge of his nose.

He was upset. Frustrated. It was one of his cues.

"She saw him and broke down again. He was 6 months old. It was too soon after Rena's death. She started shaking him, and shaking him. I had to- I had to- slap her" He whispered.

"You had no other choice" Bella quickly stated. "Was Masen okay?" She asked. Just like Alice had done for her, she needed him to keep talking. IT would make it better, easier to handle, if just one more person knew the truth. If he didn't have to keep it all in.

"He was a little concussed, but it could have been worse. No one else knows that that had happened. I just, I had to tell someone Bella. So Tanya went back to the program. She was released again a month ago. She tried to get in contact, but I avoided her, and made sure Mrs. Cope was always with Masen. A week ago, she went off of the radar. They found her body today. She had hung herself in some motel east of Seattle" He finished.

"Where's Masen?" Bella asked, curious.

"Alice is with him" Edward replied. He looked into her eyes. "I never meant for any of this to happen" He whispered.

"Edward, Rena and Tanya's deaths are not your fault" She whispered. "Everything happens for a reason, you have to believe that" She told him.

"Bella?" He asked. She looked up at him. "Can I, have a hug?" He questioned, uncertain. She smiled faintly.

"Have you ever had to ask?" She responded. His strong arms wrapped around her tiny frame. She could feel his tears against her neck, feel his chest shake against her own. He was breaking down. She rubbed soothing circles on his back, like Alice had done for her. She whispered that it wasn't his fault, like Alice had done before. She comforted him over a lost of a child, like Alice had done for her. There lives were so messed up she realized.

"Edward, do you have a picture of Masen?" She asked. He broke away from her and looked confused. None the less, he pulled out his wallet. He had three pictures inside. The first was a sonogram. The second was a picture of two smiling babies, one with blonde hair and the other with a bronze color. Both had green eyes.

"That's Rena and Mase on their 4 month birthday" He explained. "Tanya held him for five minutes that day, more then she ever had before" He admitted.

"And the last one?" He showed her the other picture, and she paled. The picture showed a chunky baby boy. He had one a blue onsie, with a SeaHawk logo. His bronze colored hair was unruly, and his green eyes took up most of his face. The similarities between Anthony and Masen were astounding. They could have been twins. She felt tears well up in her eyes.

"He's beautiful" She whispered, her voice thick with emotion.

"do you want to meet him?" Edward asked.

"NO!" She all but screamed. Her heart rate increased, and her palms started to sweat. She couldn't do that. She could not interact with Edward's son.

"Bella?" Edward was confused, and worried based on her reaction. She seemed petrified of meeting his 9 month old son.

"I can't, I'm sorry" She whispered quickly. "I have to go" She all but threw her cup to the ground, and raced out of the blankets.

"Bella!" He yelled into the darkness even after he heard her tires squeal against the gravel drive.


End file.
